I was flipping through the Bible the other day, not really looking to find anything in particular, but what I came across was certainly meant to be.
Matthew 6: 31 reads: " So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Some of you are wondering why this one spoke to you, others may know I tend to worry about everything: current worry, grad school. This will be an issue until I get into grad school and finish grad school.
I mostly wanted to share this verse with people, because I think a lot of people worry about so many different things each day, and I don't want to preach but I truly do believe God does have magical plans in store for us. Enjoy the journey God has us on, and simply live life to the fullest.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
It's been a while....
When I think of my life I often think of what it would be if it were a movie or TV show.... let me tell you, It would be pretty boring actually..... However I often think of mine having opening lines like the ones Meredith Grey gives in the first 10 minutes of Grey's Anatomy...
"We are all looking for answers. In medicine, in life, in everything. Sometimes the answers we were looking for were hiding just below the surface. Other times, we find answers when we didn't realize we were asking a question. Sometimes, the answers can catch us completely by surprise. And sometimes, even when we find the answer we've been looking for, we're still left with a whole helluva lot of questions."
That is where I'm at, searching, questioning, looking....for answers. Its funny how life seems to throw you crazy different pitches, my life right now is currently throwing me pitches Joe Mauer couldn't even seem to read. Being a superstar catcher that he is and all, that must be pretty crazy, right?
Right! Life is scary to be quite honest, I find myself jealous of high schooler's, and young college kids right now...life is SO easy....granted homework and tests isn't always easy, but it is MUCH MUCH MUCH easier than trying to figure your life out now that you're done with college and have a degree.... I suppose being a college grad means you start to live an "adult" life.
What is an "adult" life to be exact though? I'm not sure. I find myself questioning what I am suppose to do with my life now that I am done with school. I do know my next step is Grad School, however as simple as that sounds...it hardly is simple. I'm now left with....
a) what grad schools have the program I want?
b) what grad school is not ooober expensive?
c) will I get into that program at that school?
d) where will this bring me when I'm done?
e) what the heck am I going to do when I have completed grad school?
SCARY I tell ya!
Life is more stressful than that right now for me though, Mark is off to Montana after school to work.... so that leaves me with my next question...follow or not. Last time I followed Mark somewhere I ended up on crazy pills...literally. So do I take that risk again? I suppose some would say yes, some would say no.
My obvious decision would to be to follow Mark, I mean I have been with him for over 3 years, talk about marrying the guy, and don't feel like finding a new man for my life...sounds like a waste of time when I've got something great. And to be quite honest, I don't want to lose him!
Then there is my little monkey on my shoulder saying: "You HATED Fargo, You call your mom and dad 2569369873768 times a day when you're gone from them anyways. You always need to know where Alex is and what is going on...how can you survive Montana?" Well let me tell you MONKEY you're not helping me! Also, I don't think my mom and dad want me to leave either.... by no means do I want to leave Minnesota either, but I don't know maybe it would be a great change. Like Meredith Grey said in Grey's:
"People are really romantic about the beginnings of things. Fresh start. Clean slate. A world of possibility. But no matter what adventure you're embarking on, you're still you. You bring you into every new beginning in your life, so how different can it possibly be."
So maybe taking another risk to follow Mark could be great new beginning....after all, no matter what I will always have my family, I will always be close with them. With that being said decisions need to be made, when I figure it out... I'm going to go into it with positive attitude and know it was for what was best for me.
"We are all looking for answers. In medicine, in life, in everything. Sometimes the answers we were looking for were hiding just below the surface. Other times, we find answers when we didn't realize we were asking a question. Sometimes, the answers can catch us completely by surprise. And sometimes, even when we find the answer we've been looking for, we're still left with a whole helluva lot of questions."
That is where I'm at, searching, questioning, looking....for answers. Its funny how life seems to throw you crazy different pitches, my life right now is currently throwing me pitches Joe Mauer couldn't even seem to read. Being a superstar catcher that he is and all, that must be pretty crazy, right?
Right! Life is scary to be quite honest, I find myself jealous of high schooler's, and young college kids right now...life is SO easy....granted homework and tests isn't always easy, but it is MUCH MUCH MUCH easier than trying to figure your life out now that you're done with college and have a degree.... I suppose being a college grad means you start to live an "adult" life.
What is an "adult" life to be exact though? I'm not sure. I find myself questioning what I am suppose to do with my life now that I am done with school. I do know my next step is Grad School, however as simple as that sounds...it hardly is simple. I'm now left with....
a) what grad schools have the program I want?
b) what grad school is not ooober expensive?
c) will I get into that program at that school?
d) where will this bring me when I'm done?
e) what the heck am I going to do when I have completed grad school?
SCARY I tell ya!
Life is more stressful than that right now for me though, Mark is off to Montana after school to work.... so that leaves me with my next question...follow or not. Last time I followed Mark somewhere I ended up on crazy pills...literally. So do I take that risk again? I suppose some would say yes, some would say no.
My obvious decision would to be to follow Mark, I mean I have been with him for over 3 years, talk about marrying the guy, and don't feel like finding a new man for my life...sounds like a waste of time when I've got something great. And to be quite honest, I don't want to lose him!
Then there is my little monkey on my shoulder saying: "You HATED Fargo, You call your mom and dad 2569369873768 times a day when you're gone from them anyways. You always need to know where Alex is and what is going on...how can you survive Montana?" Well let me tell you MONKEY you're not helping me! Also, I don't think my mom and dad want me to leave either.... by no means do I want to leave Minnesota either, but I don't know maybe it would be a great change. Like Meredith Grey said in Grey's:
"People are really romantic about the beginnings of things. Fresh start. Clean slate. A world of possibility. But no matter what adventure you're embarking on, you're still you. You bring you into every new beginning in your life, so how different can it possibly be."
So maybe taking another risk to follow Mark could be great new beginning....after all, no matter what I will always have my family, I will always be close with them. With that being said decisions need to be made, when I figure it out... I'm going to go into it with positive attitude and know it was for what was best for me.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
"we can be best friends forever"
I met this little lady about two months ago... her name is Marie...Queen Marie to be exact. She was born March 25th, the same day that I was born and my middle name happens to be Marie.
Marie is a special friend of mine now, actually we are great friends. I've helped her children out by going to her house and just helping her out... well I honestly don't do much, I just sit outside her bathroom and make sure she is okay in the shower, curl her hair, and make her lunch when her children are gone.
Marie has came up with our own names... Queen Marie, and Princess Kayla. I would say we have created this special bond, which entitled us to be "best friends forever" as Marie put it today. We will be celebrating our '87th' birthday together, on the 25th of March with a beautiful cake. We decided this today.... she told me she hopes my parents are okay with us being such great friends with 65 year age difference, but she promised she'd be a good role model ;) as far as I'm concerned I'm learning a lot from her!
My friendship with Marie is truly a special one. I wish everyone could have a friendship like ours, it would bring so much joy into your life. I go and visit Marie when I get a chance to and I bring her lunch or sweets, I've learned a lot about her in over the two months that I've known her we talk about love stories, different era's that she has lived in, what life was like during world war 2, we talk about religion, school, sports, anything you name it. Most of all when I am with her, we laugh! She is truly a special lady and I'm so grateful that she came into my life.
I encourage everyone to take time to get to know someone, anyone and become their friend, you never know how powerful the impact can be.
that's all for today, good night!
Marie is a special friend of mine now, actually we are great friends. I've helped her children out by going to her house and just helping her out... well I honestly don't do much, I just sit outside her bathroom and make sure she is okay in the shower, curl her hair, and make her lunch when her children are gone.
Marie has came up with our own names... Queen Marie, and Princess Kayla. I would say we have created this special bond, which entitled us to be "best friends forever" as Marie put it today. We will be celebrating our '87th' birthday together, on the 25th of March with a beautiful cake. We decided this today.... she told me she hopes my parents are okay with us being such great friends with 65 year age difference, but she promised she'd be a good role model ;) as far as I'm concerned I'm learning a lot from her!
My friendship with Marie is truly a special one. I wish everyone could have a friendship like ours, it would bring so much joy into your life. I go and visit Marie when I get a chance to and I bring her lunch or sweets, I've learned a lot about her in over the two months that I've known her we talk about love stories, different era's that she has lived in, what life was like during world war 2, we talk about religion, school, sports, anything you name it. Most of all when I am with her, we laugh! She is truly a special lady and I'm so grateful that she came into my life.
I encourage everyone to take time to get to know someone, anyone and become their friend, you never know how powerful the impact can be.
that's all for today, good night!
Friday, February 4, 2011
New Year, New Beginnings :)
Well it is a little over a month into the new year, and it has been forever since I have wrote in here.
So now that I finally have some FREE time, I will enjoy this opportunity to help inspire others and catch you all up to date with where I'm at in life.
I've been out of Fargo for almost two months and must say, I LOVE every minute of it! However I must say doing the long distance relationship again is a downfall. I miss Mark so much its funny how distance truly makes the heart grow fonder, not saying I wasn't fond of him before... but you get my point! I went up and visited him this past week for his birthday and gave him the COOLEST birthday present EVER... a trip to VEGAS! I can hardly wait, yet we won't be going till June since I have to wait till his crazy baseball schedule is done.
I've been busy working at my intern at a psychology clinic and that has been very interesting to say the least, but I'm learning so much and have a great person to learn from! I defiantly know I'm going in the right direction with my dreams of a future career! I cannot wait till Grad School to continue on with my dreams, but more dreams are bursting at the seams. I definitely have other dreams that I'd love to pursue after grad school too...but its still in the "works" so I won't share that yet! :p
I'm sure many of you have made new years resolutions, so the BIG question is....how many of you have already broke it? HE hE! I can honestly say I didn't make one after the new year, but I do have many resolutions that I'd love to see happen.
I made up my own quote the other day, while improvising some other great theories I made my own....
That right there is my new years resolution, because I think any sucky day can try to bring you down, but that's only if you let it. However I've learned a lot through my internship that positive thinking can do powers to one's life and if you tell yourself it is the best day, you truly can find ways to enjoy even a sucky day! So from here on out that is how I am going to live my life, because even the worst of days, you can learn something from it and that to me means a good thing truly did happen.
Onto the next subject: VALENTINE'S DAY!!
“I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.”
This quote truly describes how I feel about my love for Mark, yet I think I also relate it towards other people I love too, because the people I love and that love me never judge me of my mistakes, but continue to love even past the flaws everyone has. Love is a splendid thing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35rREuHEJg8
my FAVORITE MOVIE!!!
So this Valentine's day, tell the ones you love how much you truly love them. I will advise that this should be shown/told/known more than just one SILLY day, but start from there and continue on, because love truly is NOT something that shouldn't be known, the power of love is amazing!
That is all for now, until next time. Enjoy the life you are given, love the events that you are given, and embrace the new beginnings. They will only make you a stronger, wiser, happier person when it's all said and done.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35rREuHEJg8
my FAVORITE MOVIE!!!
So this Valentine's day, tell the ones you love how much you truly love them. I will advise that this should be shown/told/known more than just one SILLY day, but start from there and continue on, because love truly is NOT something that shouldn't be known, the power of love is amazing!
That is all for now, until next time. Enjoy the life you are given, love the events that you are given, and embrace the new beginnings. They will only make you a stronger, wiser, happier person when it's all said and done.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Be thankful for what you have, never take anything for Granted
Where to start. well 13 class days left!! WOOHOO!! :)
It's been awhile, however I don't have much to discuss about me...nothing new here, just school kickin my booty like always.
In the last week, friends of mine have been hit with life changing news...no they are not preggers... worse. A girl friend of mine found out her dad has cancer, I felt awful when I heard this news. I could never imagine getting news like this about my mom or dad and hope to God I never do. That's when it hit me, life can change in an instant... I will never take my life for granted ever again, nor miss opportunities for family time. Family is my rock, and strength when I need picking up. I tell my parents everything, and don't hold anything back. I couldn't imagine not having that type of relationship with them. They are more my best friends if anything, but parent me as well. I could never not have that in my life.
Then the second sad story came, a dear friend of Mark and mine's dad passed away Monday night. This man was one of the greatest men to ever walk the planet. Since the day I met him I always received hugs from him from there on out at all of the baseball games or at Mark and Tyler's apartment. Tyler's parents were all about family, and support. Mark and Kathy never missed a DMACC baseball game, they treated every boy on the team like one of their own children, they were never biased towards one player or another, they supported, cheered, encouraged every single player to be there best. Mark was a devoted father to Tyler and his brother Austin, never missed an event of theirs. I can recall so many times Skyping with Tyler when his dad would call on the phone, and Tyler would give me the 1 minute symbol with his finger, and they always said "I love you" before they got off the phone. Tyler loved his dad deeply, this I knew because you could see it, and he expressed it. So many people grow up to not be close to their parents, and dream or wish to have a relationship like theirs. I can only express my heartbreak for Tyler, Austin and Kathy. But mostly I want everyone to know how great of a man Mark was. He lived each day as if it where his last, he always had such a positive outlook on everything even when things would be bad, he found ways to support everyone and encourage them to not give up.
As far as their goodbyes went, they never got to say their final goodbye's, this breaks my heart, and makes me cry every time I think about it.
I don't ever want to hear the news that my mom or dad has an illness, but I would much rather hear that then get a phone call late at night that one of my parents passed away unexpectedly, when someone has "time" to live, you get to say EVERYTHING you have ever wanted, repair old wounds, and create lasting memories. But when someone dies unexpectedly, you are left with.... "I wish....." and that would be even worse. As far as Tyler goes, how do you find the words to say to a dear dear friend who has been there for you for so many stupid dramatic events in my life, to now flip roles and support him in such a devastating loss?
Words don't do a justice, but I know he knows I am always here for him, however it sucks because you just don't know how to exactly "help". However note to EVERYONE, when someone I love deeply passes away, please do NOT ever say "STAY STRONG" how can you tell someone to stay strong, when it is completely acceptable and normal to not be strong, to break down ball your eyes out, punch walls, break things....to feel pain. Let people loose it, let them be weak, let them weep, don't tell them to be strong because being strong is the last thing they are thinking about when in such a horrible situation. So please don't ever tell me to be "strong" because odds are, I won't be.
My lesson for this post is for everyone to know how great their life truly is, yes you may fight with someone you love, with your family. But in the end love is what keeps people together, they could be gone tomorrow....don't ever take the love and support you have for granted. LOVE deeply, risk everything, and never go to bed angry with someone you never know if you will get the opportunity to say "I'm sorry" or "I love you" ever again. So make sure you tell people how you feel.
Cherish the life that you have, if you are unhappy, fix it. You only get one life to live.
Have a great night,
Kayla
It's been awhile, however I don't have much to discuss about me...nothing new here, just school kickin my booty like always.
In the last week, friends of mine have been hit with life changing news...no they are not preggers... worse. A girl friend of mine found out her dad has cancer, I felt awful when I heard this news. I could never imagine getting news like this about my mom or dad and hope to God I never do. That's when it hit me, life can change in an instant... I will never take my life for granted ever again, nor miss opportunities for family time. Family is my rock, and strength when I need picking up. I tell my parents everything, and don't hold anything back. I couldn't imagine not having that type of relationship with them. They are more my best friends if anything, but parent me as well. I could never not have that in my life.
Then the second sad story came, a dear friend of Mark and mine's dad passed away Monday night. This man was one of the greatest men to ever walk the planet. Since the day I met him I always received hugs from him from there on out at all of the baseball games or at Mark and Tyler's apartment. Tyler's parents were all about family, and support. Mark and Kathy never missed a DMACC baseball game, they treated every boy on the team like one of their own children, they were never biased towards one player or another, they supported, cheered, encouraged every single player to be there best. Mark was a devoted father to Tyler and his brother Austin, never missed an event of theirs. I can recall so many times Skyping with Tyler when his dad would call on the phone, and Tyler would give me the 1 minute symbol with his finger, and they always said "I love you" before they got off the phone. Tyler loved his dad deeply, this I knew because you could see it, and he expressed it. So many people grow up to not be close to their parents, and dream or wish to have a relationship like theirs. I can only express my heartbreak for Tyler, Austin and Kathy. But mostly I want everyone to know how great of a man Mark was. He lived each day as if it where his last, he always had such a positive outlook on everything even when things would be bad, he found ways to support everyone and encourage them to not give up.
As far as their goodbyes went, they never got to say their final goodbye's, this breaks my heart, and makes me cry every time I think about it.
I don't ever want to hear the news that my mom or dad has an illness, but I would much rather hear that then get a phone call late at night that one of my parents passed away unexpectedly, when someone has "time" to live, you get to say EVERYTHING you have ever wanted, repair old wounds, and create lasting memories. But when someone dies unexpectedly, you are left with.... "I wish....." and that would be even worse. As far as Tyler goes, how do you find the words to say to a dear dear friend who has been there for you for so many stupid dramatic events in my life, to now flip roles and support him in such a devastating loss?
Words don't do a justice, but I know he knows I am always here for him, however it sucks because you just don't know how to exactly "help". However note to EVERYONE, when someone I love deeply passes away, please do NOT ever say "STAY STRONG" how can you tell someone to stay strong, when it is completely acceptable and normal to not be strong, to break down ball your eyes out, punch walls, break things....to feel pain. Let people loose it, let them be weak, let them weep, don't tell them to be strong because being strong is the last thing they are thinking about when in such a horrible situation. So please don't ever tell me to be "strong" because odds are, I won't be.
My lesson for this post is for everyone to know how great their life truly is, yes you may fight with someone you love, with your family. But in the end love is what keeps people together, they could be gone tomorrow....don't ever take the love and support you have for granted. LOVE deeply, risk everything, and never go to bed angry with someone you never know if you will get the opportunity to say "I'm sorry" or "I love you" ever again. So make sure you tell people how you feel.
Cherish the life that you have, if you are unhappy, fix it. You only get one life to live.
Have a great night,
Kayla
Monday, October 18, 2010
head full of doubt....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t43VgJ4U9_Q
"When nothing is owed or deserved or expected
And your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected
If you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected
Decide what to be and go be it
There was a dream and one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it
And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I’ll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out
There’s a darkness upon you that’s flooded in light
And in the fine print they tell you what’s wrong and what’s right
And it flies by day and it flies by night
And I’m frightened by those that don’t see it"
This song is my favorite, well for the moment or week I guess I should say since my "favorite" song changes every moment.
Anyways on with my blabber.
This song seems to "speak" to me so to say... I have been in a really weird mood lately, I wouldn't say a sad mood, or a happy mood but a DEEP thought mood. I have recently been feeling very anxious to get out of school, not that this has changed since other times, but I actually really enjoy school, It was always the excitement to get out of Fargo that I counted down the days for, and now I'm counting down the days to be done with school. It's weird but I'm really anxious to GROW UP, I've always wanted to be older than I was though, and some people may think that is really weird, especially my friends, who never want to be done with their senior year of college because that brings so much more responsibilities to their plate, however I'm really excited for it. I guess I am excited because it is sort of in a way a new life, a new place in time, a new....me.
I feel like I am lost as can be in my world right now, I have so many dreams and goals for the next five years that I feel like are way to far out of my reach... I set such high standards for myself, yet everything seems to let me down in someways. For instance, my dream job...to be a Nurse, well I couldn't get into a nursing program, due to set standards, I basically was told I was too dumb to get into a nursing program. While working with nurses for the last three years I have NO idea how the majority of them are nurses, common sense is not there nor is the skill to communicate with others or basic knowledge of how to take care of someone, this upsets me because my passion to help people is immensely astronomical.
There for psychology was the next best step to helping people. By no means am I saying psychology was a dumb choice but it was "settling" for the next best option. However, this could potentially be my best choice someday in the future, there are so many options and routes I could take with a psychology degree...well after I go to grad school. For instance my new goal or dream is to open my own clinic that deals with Brain injuries, Alzheimer's as well as counseling for cancer victims. With that being said, I wish to become a Neuropsychologist... long way to go, but hey I'm hopeful and determined to make this happen.
I have some major plans or ideas in my head for when I move back home in December. I have filled out about 10 different applications to volunteer at different hospitals dealing with battered women and children, domestic abuse, assistance to families at Children's hospital, as well as basic assistance to families and patients in hospitals in general. I have this urge or desire to help people lately, to make a difference in their life even if it is a simple thing such as reading a little kid a book, or helping people with their grocery list while they have family in the hospital. I just want to Help so that is why I signed up for all these volunteer things, I think it would be so much fun and such a rewarding experience.
I think one of my residents has a major influence on my choice to do these volunteering things, my favorite resident at work has Alzheimer's she is what is considered "late stage" which is the most advanced level of Alzheimer's meaning she has no control of any type of body function, cannot walk, has to be fed, dressed, cleaned, pushed around daily in a wheel chair, and worst of all doesn't remember her family... don't put pitty on her though, I doubt she would want it if you met her. She is a spitfire, and the loveliest lady I have ever met. Although she cannot make full sentences or even have the knowledge to understand what she is saying to most people, she communicates with me. I left my job for four months, when I came back she saw me and got the biggest smile on her face and said the best thing I have ever heard "Kayla" simple one word, my name. How is it that a woman with the most advanced level of Alzheimer's remembers my name, and continue to say my name every time she sees me? This touched my heart, it will always be the GREATEST memory of my life. We talk and we laugh together and she tells me she "loves" me daily, "I just love you Kayla" but yet if anyone else is to talk to her, she doesn't respond. That lady is the reason I want to help make a difference in peoples lives, if one woman who barely remembers her daughters can remember mine, I know I have done something AMAZING for that woman and I LOVE it! With that being said, I know I have the potential to give that same experience to someone else as well, and I hope to do so.
My marathon is in 5 days, I couldn't be more nervous for something in my entire life, I don't know why but I keep having restless nights over this stupid marathon. My goal is to finish in under 4.5 hours, yet it seems odd to me that anyone would want to run for 4.5 hours. I must be crazy or senile because I think driving 3 hours to Fargo sucks, why on earth would I want to run for 4.5. Well my answer is quite simple actually, it's a mind game... and I plan on defeating the mind, I know I can do it, and I know I will finish it, but I am scared I won't finish it in under 4.5 hours and that stinks because I don't want to be last. UGH! And by no means am I going to want to go out there and sprint this thing, did that for the first 5 miles of my half last year...I learned my lesson. But I also don't want to be the loser at the end... so here I am freaking out about it...
This is all for today, hope everyone has a great day!!
Kayla
"When nothing is owed or deserved or expected
And your life doesn’t change by the man that’s elected
If you’re loved by someone, you’re never rejected
Decide what to be and go be it
There was a dream and one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it
And there was a kid with a head full of doubt
So I’ll scream til I die and the last of those bad thoughts are finally out
There’s a darkness upon you that’s flooded in light
And in the fine print they tell you what’s wrong and what’s right
And it flies by day and it flies by night
And I’m frightened by those that don’t see it"
This song is my favorite, well for the moment or week I guess I should say since my "favorite" song changes every moment.
Anyways on with my blabber.
This song seems to "speak" to me so to say... I have been in a really weird mood lately, I wouldn't say a sad mood, or a happy mood but a DEEP thought mood. I have recently been feeling very anxious to get out of school, not that this has changed since other times, but I actually really enjoy school, It was always the excitement to get out of Fargo that I counted down the days for, and now I'm counting down the days to be done with school. It's weird but I'm really anxious to GROW UP, I've always wanted to be older than I was though, and some people may think that is really weird, especially my friends, who never want to be done with their senior year of college because that brings so much more responsibilities to their plate, however I'm really excited for it. I guess I am excited because it is sort of in a way a new life, a new place in time, a new....me.
I feel like I am lost as can be in my world right now, I have so many dreams and goals for the next five years that I feel like are way to far out of my reach... I set such high standards for myself, yet everything seems to let me down in someways. For instance, my dream job...to be a Nurse, well I couldn't get into a nursing program, due to set standards, I basically was told I was too dumb to get into a nursing program. While working with nurses for the last three years I have NO idea how the majority of them are nurses, common sense is not there nor is the skill to communicate with others or basic knowledge of how to take care of someone, this upsets me because my passion to help people is immensely astronomical.
There for psychology was the next best step to helping people. By no means am I saying psychology was a dumb choice but it was "settling" for the next best option. However, this could potentially be my best choice someday in the future, there are so many options and routes I could take with a psychology degree...well after I go to grad school. For instance my new goal or dream is to open my own clinic that deals with Brain injuries, Alzheimer's as well as counseling for cancer victims. With that being said, I wish to become a Neuropsychologist... long way to go, but hey I'm hopeful and determined to make this happen.
I have some major plans or ideas in my head for when I move back home in December. I have filled out about 10 different applications to volunteer at different hospitals dealing with battered women and children, domestic abuse, assistance to families at Children's hospital, as well as basic assistance to families and patients in hospitals in general. I have this urge or desire to help people lately, to make a difference in their life even if it is a simple thing such as reading a little kid a book, or helping people with their grocery list while they have family in the hospital. I just want to Help so that is why I signed up for all these volunteer things, I think it would be so much fun and such a rewarding experience.
I think one of my residents has a major influence on my choice to do these volunteering things, my favorite resident at work has Alzheimer's she is what is considered "late stage" which is the most advanced level of Alzheimer's meaning she has no control of any type of body function, cannot walk, has to be fed, dressed, cleaned, pushed around daily in a wheel chair, and worst of all doesn't remember her family... don't put pitty on her though, I doubt she would want it if you met her. She is a spitfire, and the loveliest lady I have ever met. Although she cannot make full sentences or even have the knowledge to understand what she is saying to most people, she communicates with me. I left my job for four months, when I came back she saw me and got the biggest smile on her face and said the best thing I have ever heard "Kayla" simple one word, my name. How is it that a woman with the most advanced level of Alzheimer's remembers my name, and continue to say my name every time she sees me? This touched my heart, it will always be the GREATEST memory of my life. We talk and we laugh together and she tells me she "loves" me daily, "I just love you Kayla" but yet if anyone else is to talk to her, she doesn't respond. That lady is the reason I want to help make a difference in peoples lives, if one woman who barely remembers her daughters can remember mine, I know I have done something AMAZING for that woman and I LOVE it! With that being said, I know I have the potential to give that same experience to someone else as well, and I hope to do so.
My marathon is in 5 days, I couldn't be more nervous for something in my entire life, I don't know why but I keep having restless nights over this stupid marathon. My goal is to finish in under 4.5 hours, yet it seems odd to me that anyone would want to run for 4.5 hours. I must be crazy or senile because I think driving 3 hours to Fargo sucks, why on earth would I want to run for 4.5. Well my answer is quite simple actually, it's a mind game... and I plan on defeating the mind, I know I can do it, and I know I will finish it, but I am scared I won't finish it in under 4.5 hours and that stinks because I don't want to be last. UGH! And by no means am I going to want to go out there and sprint this thing, did that for the first 5 miles of my half last year...I learned my lesson. But I also don't want to be the loser at the end... so here I am freaking out about it...
This is all for today, hope everyone has a great day!!
Kayla
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Happy Mid-Terms Week
Well, I have officially entered Mid-Term week...which means I have survived 8 weeks of the semester so far, only 8 more weeks to go, hopefully I survive that too! With that being said only 39 more class days or something like that, I don't have my count down by me ;)
It has flown by super fast though thinking about it, and I know the next 8 weeks will fly...my break down is pretty sweet sounding anyways... tomorrow is hump day so this week is practically over.
Week 7: 10.18-10.24 is my week before my marathon ( the 23rd) So that will pass by fast.
Week 6: 10.25-11.01 is a sucky week with two tests, but I plan on going home for that weekend!
Week 5: 11.08-11.14: two more tests, but with the 11th off!! Woop Woop, then work that weekend.
Week 4: 11.15-11.21: two tests, two huge writing assignments due. YUCK! Home that weekend for SURE then.
Week 3: 11.22-11.28: Test Monday, back home Tuesday after classes for THANKSGIVING WEEK! however...I have to work that Thursday night, and weekend...so back up to Fargo :(
Week 2: 11.29-12.05: Nothing too bad!!! Just a few labs.
Week 1: 12.06-12-12 Dead week, which is basically a study week so I don't count that week or days at all because there aren't classes for me! :)
Week 0: 12.13-12.17: Finals....UGHHHHHH!
But I can do it, I have to keep thinking like the "little engine that COULD": I can just hear my mom now: "I think I can I think I can I think I can"
Well now that you all have my agenda, mark it on your calenders ;)
This weekend was a absolute BLAST! I don't think I have had fun like that in YEARS and I am serious too! Lot's of laughs, and lots of fun people. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend, just wish it could be like that every day.
I took some of Alex's senior pictures.... Good thing I had Maria with me to help make him actually smile and not have one of those "okay this is really dumb" expression on his face.
We tried to get Mauer and McGuire in pictures too, Lets just say...with them both in pictures with Alex was a huge failure, McGuire does NOT cooperate (so un-coach-able) [hey Kinda like ME]. Then there is Mauer, who I have to say is probably the funniest dog around. When dad says I don't like Mauer because we are too much alike is probably right....hmm.. Anyways talk about such a photogenic dog, he was just LOVING it, I will post some pictures so you can see what I mean. But it was super fun, who know's how pleased mom was with the pictures though!
this first one is one of my favorites of Alex, then the ones with the dogs crack me up!
10.13.10 is my dear best friend Ali's 22nd birthday!!! So Happy Birthday to you Ali!! :)
Well that is all for tonight! It's starting to get chilly here again and of course the wind is blowing 100 mph. Cant wait to get out of this place. I must say though it will be weird living back at home, I mean I'll be forced to drink milk at dinner, and eat what my mom makes not have a bowl of cereal. ha ha I am not complaining though...well about the milk I am.
Have a good Wednesday everyone!!
kayla
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